As men we are called to be the leaders and priests of our families. This isn’t meant to be a forceful thing. In order to do this we need to set the course for ourselves and our families with input from them, especially our wives.
If a ship leaves port in Shanghai on it’s way to San Francisco it doesn’t just head east and hope for the best. The captain sets a course and take advantage of the currents in the right direction. If they come up on a storm they will either batten down the hatches or try to avoid it.
We must do the same. We don’t have the current to take advantage of the same way because the culture is against us but we do have good friends, family, the church and other Godly activities.
But we need to avoid the things that will take us off course or slow our progress. Thinking like bad friends, toxic family, the media and non- Godly activities.
As we go through the next 10 weeks we will learn together how to set that course and lead our families to have a stronger relationship with God by working with our families especially our wives. We will do this through weekly exercises and daily Bible study as a group.
1 Kings 9:
26 King Solomon also built ships at Ezion Geber, which is near Elath in Edom, on the shore of the Red Sea. 27 And Hiram sent his men—sailors who knew the sea—to serve in the fleet with Solomon’s men. 28 They sailed to Ophir and brought back 420 talents of gold, which they delivered to King Solomon.
Notice how these sailors knew the sea. They set out on the mission and then returned with the bounty they were assigned to retrieve. We need to learn what God desires of us the same way; to know the way we are to go and how to bring to Him what He desires.
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
As a part of God’s church we are the bride of Crist. And just as Jesus worked hard to teach and guide people. It is our job to teach and guide our families. Jesus did not come heavy handed and force people to follow Him instead He came as an example and even a servant to others. In order to teach and guide our families we must also set an example by serving.
For example if we go to put something in the trash and notice that it is full we should empty it. At the same time if we see one of the children ignore a full trash can we need to remind them that it is everyone’s responsibility to empty it.
And this goes even further than that. Jesus would often work himself to exhaustion teaching and healing people. We too must work hard to provide for the needs of those around us. That will teach our boys what it is like to provide and teach our daughters what to look for in the future.
Most importantly we must lead our family to have a closer relationship with the Father. Jesus did this by first teaching and helping others but in the end He gave His life to protect us from sin. While we can’t forgive sin we can though example help our families to repent.
4His sons used to hold feasts in their homes on their birthdays, and they would invite their three sisters to eat and drink with them. 5When a period of feasting had run its course, Job would make arrangements for them to be purified. Early in the morning he would sacrifice a burnt offering for each of them, thinking, “Perhaps my children have sinned and cursed God in their hearts.” This was Job’s regular custom.
Why did Job do this and should we do something similar? He lived in a time before the Law was given and the priestly line was set up. And he lived in a land outside of Israel so the temple sacrifice system did not work for him.
Now we live after the fulfillment of the sacrificial system. That means we do not have to make sacrifices of food and drink for the forgiveness of sins. But we must repent. Repent literally means to turn around. As in to turn from our sinful ways and to turn to God and start to walk to Him.
We cannot make our families do that but we can set an example. And when our children disobey us or their mothers or more importantly God we must help them to change their ways. This varies depending on the child and what they did and we must tailor the consequences accordingly.
24 Whoever spares the rod hates their children but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.
Despite popular belief by non christians this is not advocating beating your children when they disobey. A shepherd’s road was a common tool. It was used to throw at animals like rabbits to feed shepherds. It was also used to throw at wild dogs and other predators in order to protect the sheep. Just like we are to use the tools we are given in order to provide and protect our family.
If the sheep needed to drink but a river was too dangerous the shepherd would use his rod to dig drinking holes in the river bank. Providing a safe nurturing environment for them
Yes it was used to hit the sheep in order to drive them from danger. In the same way we need to be strong to guide and protect our children and when necessary discipline them to protect them from danger. That danger may be them physically hurting themselves or it could be them heading into sin.
I’m not saying we should hit them with a stick. We have lots of tools we can use. We can be taking away toys/electronics, grounding or giving them extra chores. The correction needs to be appropriate to the child and what they have done. Remember we are not trying to punish them out of spite or anger but we are trying to correct them and help them to repent. So they will grow into strong followers of Christ.
1Thus the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array.
2By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. 3 Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.
4 This is the account of the heavens and the earth when they were created, when the Lord God made the earth and the heavens.
5 Now no shrub had yet appeared on the earth and no plant had yet sprung up, for the Lord God had not sent rain on the earth and there was no one to work the ground, 6 but streams came up from the earth and watered the whole surface of the ground. 7 Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.
8 Now the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed. 9 The Lord God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground—trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
10 A river watering the garden flowed from Eden; from there it was separated into four headwaters. 11 The name of the first is the Pishon; it winds through the entire land of Havilah, where there is gold. 12 (The gold of that land is good; aromatic resin and onyx are also there.) 13 The name of the second river is the Gihon; it winds through the entire land of Cush. 14 The name of the third river is the Tigris; it runs along the east side of Ashur. And the fourth river is the Euphrates.
15 The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. 16 And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”
18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”
24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
25 Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
It is not good for us to be alone. There are many reasons for this but the one that is important to us being priest of our household is that marriage helps us get closer to God. This happens because having someone that is that close to us and that much a part of our lives helps us to more easily notice our sins.
We shouldn’t nag each other but that doesn’t mean we can let each other sin either. Just like we correct our children we should help each other avoid sin. Unlike with children though we don’t do this through administering consequences. We do it though a loving dialogue with our other half
17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
As we go through this together we will learn from each other. I am new at being a father and now have a 12 and 17 year old and my wife and I have only been married for about a year. My first wife passed away after 12 years of marriage and I read the bible daily and study it often. There is always a lot to learn and I try to surround myself with Godly people. That way I can learn more from.
As I help you through these weekly activities it will also help me grow. Some of that will be from your feedback. But we all need to strive towards putting together a group of other men that are trying to be better fathers, husbands and followers of Crist. Think of this as kind of a board of advisers. We all need that and you can help advise them.
But remember when a file sharpens an ax it does that by removing the damaged metal and sometimes it will take away more than we would like in order to remove the damage. This may be uncomfortable for us but a dull tool not only can’t do its job well it is also dangerous because it requires more force to get anything done. It is more likely to damage what it is being used on or slip and hurt someone.